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Pressione O Botão Lubrificador

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them: I’m sad

the news: I’ve got something that will really brighten your day

them: whats that

the news: :)

the news:


ok tier: villain listening to classical music as they fuck shit up

good tier: villain listening to 80s music as they fuck shit up

god tier: villain listening to “toxic” by britney spears as they fuck shit up


legendary tier: villain listening to “Africa” by Toto as they fuck shit up


this is the only good addition to this post


Ah yes, the Classic Tiers for Fears as everybody wants to rule the world.


holy shit, i am head over heels for this addition.


“I also think it’s weird in movies, when someone has amnesia, and they wake up in the hospital, a lot of times surrounded by friends and family, but when they open their eyes they go ‘WHO ARE YOU?!’ because that’s not how you act when you don’t recognize somebody. That’s very rude. It would be chaos out there if every time you saw someone you didn’t recognize you went ‘WHO ARE YOU?!’. I always try to be really polite in life, so if I had amnesia, you’d never know it! I’d wake up and they’d be like ‘Hi John, we’re so happy you’re awake’ and I’d just be like, ‘Oh, hey man… How’s it going? Oh hey dude, nice to see you again’ because that’s how you act when you can tell that someone recognizes you and you have no fucking clue who they are.”

— John Mul aney


Excellent point.


John Mulaney woke up with amnesia once and never told anyone because he was too worried about being rude


the best parts of mbmbam are when the brothers crack themselves up so much there’s just sounds of choked laughter and gentle weeping as one of them tries in vain to move onto the next segment but ultimately just makes a pained, squeaking sound into the mic and the whole thing lasts for like twenty seconds



“‘Thirsty,’ another quipped,” is the most powerful phrase i’ve ever read


I don’t care what the Founding Fathers would have wanted, I don’t care if Jesus was a hippie or not, I don’t care what Marx prescribed. I can’t take living in a world where we’re all servants of long-dead men. You know what happens if you make a law the Founding Fathers wouldn’t like? Nothing, they’re dead and they’re never coming back. I’m genuinely envious of countries that can just make whatever laws they want without worrying about how 18th century agrarian noblemen would have seen it. Stop arguing that Jesus loved the poor too, what he loved or didn’t love is irrelevant, he doesn’t get a say in any of this. We could have a country that isn’t shackled to these ghosts if we collectively wanted to.


This is gorgeous.

“Life is just an RPG.


Life is just an RPG.


one of my coworkers starts nearly every day by saying “good morning kings lets get this bread” and im…obsessed with it as a phrase


its “good morning kings lets get this bread” said while standing in a He Had To Do It To Em pose, for the visual learners in the crowd

this thread is chaotic evil



 “Humanoid” can be a vague term when looking at alien/creature cause sometimes it refers to anything that’s upright and loosely has the body plan of a human, and other times people mean literally just a normal ass human with things added on


as long as it has a sensory organ or two and some limbs, it’s humanoid enough as far as I’m concerned.


Behold a man


the bare minimum is that humanoids must be bipedal


Behold a man: part 2


And they can’t have feathers




Gymnastics has come a long compared to that old footage, but this difference is particularly significant for black girls! Because they have never taken seriously our abilities! Just because the color of our skin is not what they want to see!

Simone Biles’s fantastic performance has been covered by many news outlets all these years! Now we can see the real difference!



It’s like a metaphor of what millenials have to do to get jobs vs baby boomers lol


I was debating whether to reblog but that last comment did it for me

“ Guess who has finally watched Spiderman Homecoming ?


Guess who has finally watched Spiderman Homecoming ?





Donald Trump’s Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is destroyed by man carrying a pickaxe in a guitar case.


Minecraft Steve off the shits lol


fucking superb you funky little minecraft man